The ginger man by J. P. Donleavy & Jay McInerney

Author:J. P. Donleavy & Jay McInerney [Donleavy, J. P. & McInerney, Jay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humour
ISBN: 9780802144669
Published: 2010-08-15T07:00:00+00:00

17

My eyes are glued together. Feet blistered. What have I done?

At least I'm not in jail. Lay a bit to get the latitude and longitude. I'll never do this again. Seems I had something to do with cattle. And with drink. And with several parties. And pints of cider. Claws the brain apart. I don't like this when I don't even know what month it is. Who's been meddling with the dresser and pulling out the drawers? And I've only got a sheet and coat over me. Marion? Just a mattress on her springs.

He sat up. Rubbed the flakes out of the eyes. The door bell ringing. Close the watertight compartments. Latch the hatches. Seal up, we're going down you mad bastards. The back door.

Sebastian crawled naked through the morning room into the kitchen. Turned the key and scrabbling back to the morning room, waiting under the table. Through the mirror on the opposite wall he saw the cap of the mailman pass by. I've got to see the postman. Get a blanket off Miss Frost's bed.

The mailman coining around the side. Dangerfield opening the door.

"I say there"

"I was just around the back. Thought you might not hear the bell. I have a registered letter for you, sir. There was no one in yesterday."

"Been out. I was just taking a bath."

"Will you sign here, please? Sorry to disturb you, sir. Be a bit warmer today."

"I sincerely hope so. Thank you very much. If ever you don't find me in, just put it under the door."

"And there's one more."

"Right."

"Thank you, sir."

"Good day"

Good mailman that Write to the Minister of Posts and Telegraphs and have that man moved up. Just get a knife and slit these.

Dear Mr. Dangerfield,

I have tried, without success, to get in touch with you at your present address. I am sending this letter by registered post in the hope that it will finally reach you. I have a great number of things to do and I find it hard to spare time trying to get in touch with you.

As you know you were fifty-four pounds in arrears with your rent and also that you have violated your lease which is not up until November next year, leaving fourteen months and one week and four days. I will gladly cut off one week four days if you would be considerate and send me all or part of the sum this week. My wife is not feeling too well since we have had so much trouble dealing with this property. And when we went to see the house I was sorry to find it in such a condition as to make my wife feel sick to her stomach.

I want you to know, Mr. Dangerfield, that I did not disturb anything nor look in anything that appeared to be your property. But I feel that you should know that there is a large frying pan and boiling pot missing out of the kitchen. There is only one cup left of the four supplied and two dishes, one badly cracked and needing repair, of the four supplied.

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